No More Mister Nice Guy!

I’m sick to death of everything that goes with being nice.
I’ve often thought my true vocation lay in drugs and vice.
This bloody stupid outfit doesn’t mean I am a saint.
So don’t expect no miracles, ‘cos Jesus Christ I ‘aint!
And though to some it may seem a cliché,
There’s only one thing I have left to say.

No more mister nice guy honey, I’ve been nice far too long.
No more mister nice guy sonny, nice is like a bad pong.
Wave goodbye to smiles and laughter,
Say farewell to my charms.
If you need a shoulder to cry on,
Don’t expect open arms!

So! no more mister ‘he’s so lovely’, lovely makes me feel sick.
He who knows that has a choice. so here’s my nose, take your pick!
No more ‘please’ or ‘thankyou’ or ‘sorry’,
Those such things are a bore.
No more mister nice guy anymore!

Don’t you love it?

No more mister ‘can I help you?’ I have set that aside.
When it’s dinner let me serve you - on a plate lightly fried!
All those awful years I have wasted,
Left alone on the shelf.
From now on it’s numero uno. guess who? you know myself!

No more mister Julie Andrews, I will have the last laugh.
I’ve just finished ‘war and peace’ and guess my favourite half?
No more cups of tea with old ladies,
I have just slammed the door.
No more mister nice guy anymore!

I will ignore those who are in a plight,
Faith hope and charity can whistle.
And if by chance you want me late at night,
You’ll find me drunk in some ‘epistle!’

No more mister nice guy sonny, all my debts have been paid.
I have been an empty table, now’s my chance to get laid!
I’m the apple snow white devoured,
Rotten through to the core!
No more mister nice guy anymore.
Now for the big finish!

If Jesus saves, well I’m going spending,
And sod those who are poor.
No more helping working class souls
Bet your arse I don’t mean our souls!
No more mister nice guy anymore!